Why I’m Not Celebrating 5 Years of Service With My Employer

“Wake up one morning you realize/your life is one big compromise/stuck in the job you swore was only temporary/feel like the world is passing you by/Never done all the things you wanted to try…You ask yourself there’s got to be something else/something more/more/more”

-Laura Izibor

I was given an award at work today to celebrate 5 years of service to my employer. It came in a shiny gold folder but it made my heart as heavy as lead. 5 years is an accomplishment, right? I mean some people can’t keep a job for 5 months let alone 5 years. So I should celebrate! The people in the room with me chimed in and testified that I had trained a number of them—including my current boss. They all agree I am good at what I do.  Before working here I was a full time student at the University of Alabama—Roll Tide!! I created and left a legacy there. As I sit here pondering the 5 years I’ve given to my employer what legacy will I leave here? I am a firm believer that when I leave a place I should have a legacy that speaks for me even if no one knows my name.

I walked away and almost cried. Where has the time gone? How did this happen? When I came here I gave it a year and a half. I had dreams and ambitions that were and still are bigger than this place. Nonetheless, I’ve been coming here doing the same job for the last 5 years.  The part that makes this milestone so difficult is that I’ve arrived here with no notable accomplishments or contributions. I come to work and complete the same mind numbing tasks every day. This has had a debilitating effect on my creativity.  I mean my world has become less and less colorful. I am an artist and creativity in my role is not celebrated or valued. I refuse to celebrate this. I will celebrate the fact that even though my dreams have been deferred they have not dried up like a raisin in the sun.

So, I will resume actively working to make Kuumba—my vision for a community art center—a reality.  I will again pick up my Rebel and capture all the moments I will never be able to recover once they’ve passed. I will continue to provide accountability, support and resources for artists who have a specific goal in mind but a need a little extra push. I will sleep with my shoes on and chase my dreams—Thanks for that @TraceySHINECEO. Here’s to knowing there’s something else, something more! Here’s to leaving a legacy even at my place of employment.  And here’s to original, productive and constructive ideas!

“Let the sun shine on your face/ don’t let your life go to waste/ Now is the time/got to make up your mind/let it shine on you/let it shine on you”

-Laura Izibor


2 responses to “Why I’m Not Celebrating 5 Years of Service With My Employer

  1. Such bold statements in this post! I’m so inspired by this. I have a dream of turning See Jane Write into a non-profit and a center for storytelling. This post has encouraged me to really go after that. Thanks so much and thanks for joining me for #bloglikecrazy!

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